Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
We got so high we made milksteak
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
