Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
