I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
