enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
