i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
