This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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