Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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