All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
This toilet bowl is my home.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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