i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
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