Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
You can't special order awesome
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
