Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
