Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize