whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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