I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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