TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
