loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
