I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she told me i tasted like america
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize