she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
