He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize