Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
