what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
