Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (213): View more from California

  those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (213): those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later http://tfl.nu/envj
  Replies (9) Good night (6030) Bad night (473) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): 3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals. http://tfl.nu/21ij
  Replies (12) Good night (2658) Bad night (401) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder http://tfl.nu/q5de
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (1507) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously? http://tfl.nu/b5p0
  Replies (71) Good night (1933) Bad night (6445) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.

  (347): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement. (347): I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy. http://tfl.nu/2bcu
  Replies (14) Good night (1005) Bad night (4727)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5428) Bad night (1488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where. http://tfl.nu/my2r
  Replies (16) Good night (1302) Bad night (6642) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name http://tfl.nu/1k1s
  Replies (6) Good night (3173) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong. http://tfl.nu/dijt
  Replies (19) Good night (2619) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too. http://tfl.nu/ej6j
  Replies (8) Good night (4552) Bad night (799)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests. http://tfl.nu/12h2
  Replies (11) Good night (2627) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference? http://tfl.nu/d4sd
  Replies (7) Good night (1793) Bad night (755) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money. http://tfl.nu/jqm6
  Replies (4) Good night (2014) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (270): I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/aek1
  Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (1126) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday. http://tfl.nu/8aa9
  Replies (4) Good night (1407) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt

Randomize