is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
