and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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