Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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