So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Will exercising make me less horny?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
