Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
