Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
You were trust falling into bushes
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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