are you still at the devil's house?
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
