Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I wish i was in the wii world.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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