Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
