Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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