in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
