then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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