You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
