he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize