i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize