I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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