He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
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