apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
