btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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