why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize