why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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