did you get engaged???
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
