considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
