Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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