She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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