I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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