You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
