You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
