just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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