Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
