I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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