He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Panties = found
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