Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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