would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
