I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
