and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
