why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
