Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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