I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
