i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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