guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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