I think my vagina is haunted
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize