No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I deserve this hangover.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
