I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Please. i have SOME standards
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
In other news, I just burned my penis
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine