My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
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you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
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I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
They took my balls.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!