i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done