shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.