It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When did we convert life to cartoon?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
