i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
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Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
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Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.