I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
