after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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