I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My vagina is very pro this idea
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