Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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